Comprehensive Guide to Finding the Right Therapist (includes 7 actionable steps to take)

We understand the decision to begin therapy & find a new therapist can feel like a daunting task… This guide breaks the process down into 7 expert steps for finding the right therapist, including 22 bonus questions to ask during this process. 

Where to Begin…

There is no denying that finding a therapist that both understands you and challenges you enough to grow and heal can feel overwhelming and often impossible. 

Trying to find a provider who is accepting new patients, within your budget or takes your insurance, and works with your schedule can feel SO discouraging at times. 

As someone who works in the field, I hear first hand how time consuming it can be to find a new therapist and how daunting the task feels especially when someone is in a mental health or emotional crisis. 

Which, given the nature of this job, is usually when people are needing help the most!! 

So, we are here to say that one, it is hard and we see you and two, we want to make it easier. 

We believe access to mental health care should be universal and easy enough for everyone to understand, regardless of your past treatment history or knowledge level.

Below are 7 tested strategies from mental health professionals about finding a therapist who is a good fit for you. 

1. Consider what type of treatment is best suited for you

Before trying to find the right therapist, it’s important to think about what you are looking for in care. 

We recommend considering some common types of treatment options and which might be the best fit for you at this time. 

Individual or Group Therapy?

When people hear the word ‘therapy’ they most commonly think people think of individual therapy. This approach allows you to work one-on-one with a trained professional to determine your goals, challenges and areas you’d like to work on. 

This approach is good for anyone who might feel overwhelmed by therapy in general and sharing details about their life.  It allows for more privacy than other treatment settings. 

This setting allows for individualized treatment, which can focus and gear towards your specific needs. 

Group therapy typically has a specific focus and it provides you with the opportunity to connect with other people having similar experiences and learn from their sharing as well as your own. 

Some examples of different types of groups are: groups for living with a mental illness, supporting a loved one with mental illness; groups for different age ranges, ethnicities and focus; groups for grief, for substance use, for psycho-education. The list goes on!

Closed or Open Groups?

Group therapy has two main structures, closed and open groups. 

Closed groups have a specific start date, amount of weeks and timeline so everyone begins at the same time and works through each week together on a planned schedule.

This is helpful for those wanting more structure, to see the same faces each week and to progress as a unit with a predetermined end date.

Open groups have less of a commitment, and people are welcome on a rolling basis. Basically you can attend a meeting whenever you want without having to commit to the specific time requirement.

This is helpful for people who cannot commit to a structured group & time commitment and who prefer to attend only the groups they are able to. There is more flexibility with open groups but there is also often less connection as you might be with different people each time you attend. 

Some questions to ask yourself when considering group therapy: 

1. Do I want to connect with people going through this similar experience as me? 
2. Am I emotionally regulated enough to be able to listen to other people without getting upset with them? 
3. Do I learn best by hearing other people share or sharing myself? 
4. Will I be able to share my personal experience in a group with unfamiliar people?

 In-person or virtual?

In today’s post-pandemic age, virtual (video or telephone) treatment has become much more available and many agencies offer both in-person and virtual options. 

This is something to consider when thinking of your therapy. Both in-person and virtual can pose unique challenges and benefits. 

Some questions to consider in these options are:

1. Do I have a safe and private space to do virtual sessions or would I be scrambling to find a space each week?
2. Do I prefer to have a structured environment (therapy office) to go to each week or would I like to do sessions from the comfort of my home?
3. Is transportation a barrier if I were to do in-person?
4. Does my schedule allow me to better engage in in-person or virtual sessions?
5. Will I be able to open up more in person with someone or through a screen?

There is no right answer here, and there is definitely no right approach as everyone is so different. For so many reasons, virtual or in-person might be your preference and the most effective treatment approach and you can use past treatment to guide your choice or try out both options at some point and see which feels more helpful for you!

Not every group will be right for you and not every therapist will be right for you but starting your search with an understanding of the type of treatment you are looking for is necessary to begin your healing process. 

2. Manage your Expectations

I hate to say it but as someone who works in mental health, finding treatment can (and likely will) be hard.

I’m not saying it’s fair, I’m just saying it is.

You may end up making several unanswered calls, being placed on waitlists with no timeframes or get told you aren’t a good fit for their agency. 

Managing expectations lets you prepare for the task & cope-ahead if you know what to expect. 

Put very simply, if you are expecting to call one office and get matched instantly with a therapist that meets all your requirements, odds are, you are going to be very disappointed. 

If you go into this expecting to make a lot of calls that do not lead directly to treatment, then you will feel less disappointed when that is what happens. Many agencies are understaffed, at capacity (not taking on new patients) or serve only a specific population or risk level. 

This is not me saying our mental health system in this country is acceptable, no, far from it. BUT, this is me saying do not get discouraged by the process. It can feel time-consuming and frustrating and invalidating, and this is me saying PLEASE do it anyways. 

If you can go into this search knowing it will take some time to find a good fit, then you will have more patience with the system and with yourself when it does take a while.

An extra tip in this step is when speaking with an agency who informs you they are at capacity and not taking on new patients, ask the following: 

Can you please provide me with a list of in-network referrals that are accepting new patients at this time? 

If you are able to ask this and get a list of referrals, it is not a wasted call, even if you are still feeling stuck at square one.

3. Call Your Insurance Company 

**cue the eye roll**

I know the thought of calling your insurance company probably causes an instant headache, and believe me, I get it. 

BUT they can actually be a huge resource in finding care that is in-network (meaning the agency accepts your insurance as a form of partial or full payment).

This is another example of managing your expectations to prevent frustration & disappointment. Set aside a good chunk of time so you don’t feel rushed or frustrated with being placed on a call wait list.

If you get an automated robo-agent, ask to speak with an agent and you will be connected with a human agent to have a more productive conversation. 

Insurance companies can provide you with a list of agencies & providers that accept your insurance so this can be a great space to start when trying to compile a list to call. 

For those needing insurance to cover their appointments in full, it doesn’t hurt to air on the side of caution. To make sure your insurance will cover the appointment in full, I always recommend calling the agency directly and confirming that they accept your insurance and whether it covers the appointments (initial intake and ongoing sessions) in full or if there is a co-pay. 

Mental health treatment can be expensive but it shouldn’t have to be. Calling to get confirmation of how much sessions through this agency/provider will cost gives you more clarity in making your decision.

4. Consider what is bringing you into care & what specialty & focus are best for you?

There is a range of professionals who can practice therapy & counseling. You may come across different licenses, titles and treatment specialties/ modalities and this tip will give an overview of that to expect.

Types of Providers

There are a range of titles that can come up in looking for treatment. Some include therapists, counselors, mental health clinicians, nurse practitioners, psychiatrists, licensed drug and alcohol counselors (LADC), to name a few. 

It is important to consider what is bringing you into care and what you are hoping to focus on during your course of treatment. If you are looking for someone to help you manage your substance use or maintain your recovery, finding a counselor that is trained & specialized in substance use treatment is a good idea!

If you know you are needing to heal from past traumas and open up some scary doors from childhood, looking for a provider who specializes in trauma would be your best bet. 

There are some therapists who work with a wide range of presenting challenges, and there are others who are extremely specialized and only work with specific diagnoses or symptoms. 

If you’re wanting therapy to be a space for more general support, discussing weekly stressors and not focusing too much in any area, then you might not need to find a specialized provider. 

But if you are coming into care knowing there are some specific things you’d like to work on (ex: depression, grief, substance use, trauma, self-esteem, psychosis) then digging a little deeper to find a provider who is experienced & has training in these topics is very important and can directly impact how much you get out of your time in therapy.

Types of Treatment Approaches

There are many different frameworks and approaches that guide the work being done in therapy. 

There are approaches that focus on how our childhood and relationships with primary caregivers shape and impact us as adults,

…approaches that focus on our thought processes and patterns of thinking that are helpful and unhelpful,

…approaches that focus on developing skills to cope and manage stressors in the present day, 

And approaches that focus on body work and using your physical sensations to guide you in healing…

This is just to name a few but the list goes on! 

I say this not to overwhelm you but to provide hope! If something hasn’t been working in therapy, it means there are typically other options for ways to approach it differently and get a more effective outcome! 

There are treatment approaches for people who are very comfortable talking and being vulnerable and other approaches for someone who might have an easier time drawing or creating art to work through their healing. 

This is not to say any approach is better than the other, it’s to say, do some research! Google ‘different therapy frameworks’ to get a better sense of some of the approaches out there! 

And keep this in mind if you’re ever feeling stuck in therapy. It is not your fault and often there are other ways to try and work through whatever you are experiencing if the current approach doesn’t feel effective for you and your style.

5. Schedule Intakes and ASK questions

This ties together a few of the steps already discussed. Now that you have done your research, thought about what options are available and what is bringing you into care, and gotten a list of options either from your insurance or on your own, it’s time to begin making your calls! 

This is where managing your expectations comes into play (think of it as a marathon not a sprint).

In making your calls, have a list of questions you would like to ask so you can make the most informed decision about where you would like to begin care. 

Here’s a list of some questions you might like to ask:

1. Do you accept _____ insurance? If so, what is the copay for the initial intake appointment as well as ongoing sessions? 
2. Do you provide individual or group therapy? 
3. Do you offer in-person or virtual sessions? 
4. Do you have weekend or evening availability (for students, people working traditional 9-5s) 
5. What is your specialty/ training expertise? 
6. Is there a way for me to easily contact my therapist in between sessions/ what does communication look like? 
7. Do you offer medication management in addition to therapy? (This is for those who are interested in a combination of psychiatry and therapy for treatment).

6. Discuss your goals and expectations starting in the Initial Appointment 

Every therapist and agency is different and their requirements around goal-setting, treatment planning and progress check-ins can vary. 

Some may have a very rigid structure that requires you to set goals as you begin care whereas others might have very little structure and explicit goal-setting. 

I recommend discussing your goals for therapy with your new provider in the first, or second appointment. I only say this because your first appointment sometimes will be an intake assessment so you might not have the time to go over goals, and thats when you can address in session #2. 

Goals should be individualized and basically put into words what you are hoping out of your time in therapy. This doesn’t need to be a stressful tasks, it can actually be quite simple. 

Some examples of goals could be:

 “I want to get better at setting boundaries with my family members and standing up for myself”

“I want to be more confident and improve self-talk” 

“I want to develop ways to cope with my anxiety and rumination”

“I want to unpack and better understand my past trauma and how it impacts me today” 

The options are literally endless… 

Again this shouldn’t be a stressful task, it should be a helpful one for both you and your new therapist. It will help them focus the sessions on the areas you would like to work on and inform them on the things that are a priority to you. 

If you are feeling stuck, ask your therapist for more support and structure  with goal setting, or look online for examples of areas you might want to work on during your time in therapy. 

This is not supposed to create more work for you, in the long term it should ideally make your treatment more effective as your provider knows exactly the areas you want to focus on! 

7. Make sure you are checking in with yourself every 6 months in treatment

Because finding care can be so overwhelming I understand the desire to stick with whichever therapist has availability right off the bat. 

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But I’m here to tell you that in fact, you can be picky, and explore what options might be available so you don’t need to settle for ineffective treatment only cause it’s your only option.

So as you continue to work with your new provider, I recommend scheduling a check-in every six months or so, to reflect on treatment so far and how it’s going. This check-in can be with your therapist and a discussion together or you can do it on your own if you feel more comfortable. 

Here are a few questions you might want to ask yourself during your ongoing check ins:

1. What is working well in therapy? What is not working well? 
2. Do I feel like I can bring up and be honest about everything or what am I holding back on? 
3. Do I feel understood by my therapist? Or am I feeling judged and like I don’t want to open up more?
4. Do I feel we are making progress on my goals? If not, what is getting in the way?
5. Is there anything more I would like us to discuss or focus on that we haven’t yet covered?
6. Do I want more weekly homework assignments, journal prompts, resources or is the status quo still working for me? 

These questions should just get you started but add any questions that are more relevant or helpful for you in reflecting on your treatment and how it is going. By doing these intentional check-ins, I promise you will get more out of your treatment.

This list is not intended to overwhelm you but hopefully help break down the daunting task of finding a new therapist. I know it can feel difficult and these tips aim to answer some of the specific challenges that may arise in your search. 

You deserve a space to be heard and I hope these steps allow you to find a therapist that meets your needs and effectively aids you in this very important journey of healing. 

Please let me know your thoughts on this article, or if you have any questions, use the comment section below. I love to hear from you and if you have any tips that have been helpful for you, not included in this post, I’d love to hear them!