I hold the opinion that anyone can benefit from therapy & I’m going to give you 7 reasons why you should go!
You don’t need to be in a mental health crisis or have your relationship on the brink of divorce to seek out help.
The truth is, we all could use a space to reflect, process and unpack.
You can benefit from therapy at any point in life, even when things are going well!
Below is a list of 7 benefits of going to therapy. These can apply to anyone who has pretty much ever lived…not to be dramatic but seriously!!
1. Strengthens your Communication Skills
Therapy is all about communication. Therapy helps you learn about different styles of verbal and non-verbal communication especially as they come up in your interactions.
By expressing yourself and talking about things in therapy you are baseline building communication skills.
Therapy is a space to learn ways to express yourself, develop language that feels good and accurate for how you are thinking and learn patterns of communication that might be coming up in your relationships.
Professional Communication
Professional communication and the dynamics at work play a large part of many people’s lives. Knowing how to effectively and assertively communicate at work can be a great skill to have.
Effective and assertive communication means you express how you feel in a calm and respectful way that is honest to how you are actually feeling.
It means you don’t stay quiet when you want to speak up, but it also means you speak up in a way that is professional and will be received by your colleagues.
You can ask your therapist to teach you specific skills for effective communication and practice through role play certain conversations you would like to have at work.
Some examples could be practicing how to ask for a raise, practicing how to say no to your colleague, practicing how to set boundaries and leave work at the right time every day.
Personal Communication
Through therapy you can identify ways you tend to communicate during conflict, and at times of excitement or surprise.
You can reflect on ways you communicate that escalate fights and ways you communicate that help calm the situation down. You can learn about and practice new skills to better express yourself in a way that other people can hear best.
Bottom line we are social beings and we crave connection to others. Being able to communicate, both through speaking and active listening, is a crucial skill for survival.
Having strong communication skills also allows us to express our beliefs and opinions, our fears and worries, our desires and dreams… so yeah, It’s pretty essential to be able to communicate with those important to you.
Relationships are built on communication, whether it be verbal or through action and body language, it is essential for connection.
Therapy can help you pay attention to ways you typically communicate and whether they are effective or not.
It can help you build and practice new skills in order to express yourself better in both personal and professional settings.
2. Challenges unhelpful thinking patterns
Therapy and speaking to someone on a regular basis about yourself definitely forces you to do some self-reflecting.
That sounds scarier than it is, cause this can actually be a very enlightening and helpful outcome of therapy!
Patterns in Thinking
We often think in certain patterns- helpful or unhelpful- and therapy can help you examine what types of patterns you might be falling prey to.
We all fall into negative spirals, they can be about ourselves or about other people or situations.
But often we believe our thoughts to be true as facts.
That is not true. Yes our thoughts are valid in the sense that they are coming from some where, but that doesn’t mean they are always accurate. Or the truth and actual reality about a situation.
Sometimes they feel so strong that we believe them to be utterly true without pausing to consider this is our perspective & opinion, maybe not everyones….
Bringing awareness to the narrative inside your head and the types of positive and negative thoughts you experience throughout your day is a great starting point!
With the help of a professional you can identify your own patterns of thinking and find ways to challenge and replace these thoughts!
Cognitive distortions
Cognitive distortions are essentially different types of distorted thoughts that could be unhealthy and often inaccurate.
We all experience cognitive distortions to some extent but realizing when it is happening allows you to take a step back and question the initial thought or belief.
These patterns of thinking are distorted meaning they are not accurate and knowing different types can be helpful in paying attention to when they come up in your own thinking!!
Some types of cognitive distortions are :
Discrediting the positive:
This happens when you let your negative experiences weigh much more heavily than your positive ones.
And for your positive experiences that counter the negative belief you always find a reason to discount it or make it less significant.
For example, you have a core belief that you are a bad test taker. Every test you do poorly on confirms that belief and you hold onto those failures with a lot of weight.
The tests you have done well on and passed do not matter as much as the failures. These tests are the exceptions, and for most you have an excuse.
“Oh it was easy.. I got a good night of sleep… I must’ve done a good job guessing..”
You get the point? Basically when you are experiencing this type of thinking distortion you are letting the negative experiences way much more heavily than the positive ones.
All or Nothing Thinking :
This can also be referred to as polarizing or black & white thinking but it basically means thinking in extremes.
So rather than seeing the gray area which exists in just about every situation, this type of thinking error causes us to only see very extreme ends of the spectrum.
Some examples are
If I’m not #1 in the class, I’m not going to get into college.
He never called me, he is the worst person ever!
If i can’t do it perfectly, i shouldn’t even try
I messed up on one note, i completely ruined the entire performance & embarrassed myself.
Can you see what these all have in common?
They are all very extreme thinking. Pay attention to words like best, worst, good person, bad person, perfect, failure..
Mind reading:
This is just what it sounds like. When we are having thoughts about what another person must be thinking or feeling about us or a situation, we are falling under this category.
By believing you can know how a person is thinking or feeling often can be a distorted and unhelpful thought.
Especially cause we often mind read that people feel negatively about us and that simply isn’t true!
These are just a few types of cognitive distortions of the many out there. They will look different for everyone.
4. Goal management
Goals and therapy may not seem like they belong together but I’m here to tell you they do!
Obviously everyone’s situation and reason for therapy is different but I think goals can help both the person going to therapy & the therapist to give a roadmap of the work being done.
Why are goals necessary in therapy?
It is important to begin discussing goals in the first or second appointment. If you are giving you, time, trust and money to someone you want it to be worth your efforts.
Goals allow you to lay on the table the things you want to work in throughout therapy
I don’t recommend trying to work on everything at once but goals can help you and your therapist discuss the agenda and areas you’d like to focus on to start.
Goals can be strict and specific or flexible and vague, depending on your style and the structure you and your provider work best with.
Examples of goals
Although everyone’s goal list will look very different, here are some examples of goals that may resonate with you.
Larger-scale goals
I want to develop a better understanding of my childhood experiences and how they shape me today
I want to strengthen and improve my relationship with my body
I want to unpack past sexual trauma in a safe and healing focused way
I want to develop better communication skills
I want to better manage my anger
I want to understand my mental health better
I want to work through and with my grief
MORE SPECIFIC & MEASURABLE GOALS
I want to learn 3 new skills for effective communication so i can practice setting professional boundaries at work
I want to keep a gratitude journal and write down 3 things I’m grateful every day for one month
I want to spend time with my loved ones once/ week
I want to identify and honor my strengths so i can improve my overall confidence
I want to remain free from any suicidal thoughts for one full week
I want to identify my cognitive distortions and unhelpful thinking patterns and use CBT to challenge and reframe these automatic thoughts
4. Helps you build language to practice vulnerability
Therapy can provide you the space, support and skills to practice vulnerability and strengthen that skill. It teaches you ways to express yourself with words that feel true to how you are feeling.
Builds Language
Therapy can be a safe space to practice building up language and finding words to accurately describe your experience.
This is as simple as it sounds but can be something many of us don’t think about. In order to feel supported by others, we need to know ways to express ourselves that feel honest and accurate to how we are feeling.
Therapy forces people to reflect on their experiences and emotions. This means it forces them to speak about themselves and through that practice they will find ways to express themselves and what they are feeling in the most accurate terms.
Being able to put your experience and feelings to words is helpful so others can understand you but it also allows you to understand yourself best.
Practicing Vulnerability
Lots of people talk about practicing vulnerability as if its easy but it’s actually a skill you need to build and practice over time.
For some people it might come very naturally and they are able to express themselves clearly without pause, but for others the thought of sharing their inner thoughts, or emotional responses activates an alarm inside of them.
Vulnerability is a difficult skill for many to implement, but it is BEYOND worth it. Being able to be vulnerable and honest allows you to be understood and supported and seen!!
It allows those close to you to get to know you better and connect on a deeper level.
Vulnerability can be about sharing both positive and negative emotions. Some examples of expressing vulnerability could be:
I love you.
I’m really scared and I need you.
I made a mistake and I’m sorry.
I feel shame around this experience…
It can also be expressed through action, for example:
Trying something new even if you might fail or get rejected.
Showing up to a new social space all alone without knowing who you will meet there.
Saying no to an invite even if you fear the person might get upset with you.
Now, I’m not saying you need to go and be vulnerable with everyone you meet, I encourage you to be selective with your sharing (making sure it’s a safe space for you to share).
But through therapy, you can practice being vulnerable in a safe and non-judgemental environment. This allows you to practice the skill and then use it with others in your life!
5. Improve relationship with self & others
Therapy is for everyone! And everyone can probably be a little kinder to themselves!
Therapy gives you a space to be heard, respected and your feelings be honored. It can be very impactful to have a space to discuss you and your experiences, especially if in other parts of life you don’t have this type of space.
Everyone deserves to take up space and be alive, and everyone deserves a chance to be heard. Therapy gives people that chance. And by having a supportive professional, hopefully it will help you connect with yourself and others a little better.
Relationship with Self
Therapy is a great way to deepen your understanding of yourself. Of your thoughts, emotions, dreams, goals… your fears, worries, aches, insecurities.
It is a safe space to explore and get to know yourself bette
r. By having to talk about yourself you are pretty much forced to develop a deeper relationship.
Ideally with the right therapist there will be a balance of them validating you and helping you grow.
Having your experience & emotions validated can be a significant factor in healing and processing your feelings.
A therapist can help you pay attention to the way you are speaking to yourself on a daily basis and recognize whether these are kind or hurtful words you are saying.
Relationship with Others
In therapy you often have to reflect on your relationships and interactions with other people.
It allows you to see patterns in how you are treating and connecting with others as well as how you are being treated.
Through guided reflection, therapy can allow you to identify challenges in the way you connect to others and build skills to try and manage these barriers.
It can teach you how to treat others with respect and also teach you the type of respect you deserve to receive.
Romantic relationships
Therapy, individual or couples can provide the space to reflect on your romantic relationships.
In relationships there can be patterns of behavior as well. Patterns of communication, of conflict, of connection…
Therapy allows you to pay attention to how your relationship is impacting you. It helps you learn traits of healthy and positive relationships so you can reflect on the type of care you are giving and receiving.
Family
We are all impacted by our family. Bottom line, there is no escaping it.
We are shaped by our family or origin (biological family) whether we spend any time with them or not and we are shaped by the people in our lives, especially as we go through childhood.
So there is no surprise that in therapy, childhood gets brought up a lot. How we were treated by our caregivers largely shapes the way we connect and relate to others.
Attachment therapy is an entire framework about the ways we relate to those in our lives, and how our childhood shapes those adult relationships.
Understanding the dynamics of your family relationships and the impact of these relationships can be hugely insightful.
6. Builds Coping Skills
Coping skills are essentially anything you do to manage stress or a stressful situation. Coping skills are what we rely on to get through many parts of life.
What are coping skills?
Therapy can teach you new skills or give you support & guidance as you practice and strengthen the skills you already have been using.
There are so many different coping skills people could practice, but keep in mind everyone is different!
There really is not one technique that works best overall.
So you might have to try some out to see what works for you and what doesn’t. Some strategies might work in certain situations but not others.
These are skills you can practice alone or bring up with your therapist to discuss further & what type of situations you could practice them in!
Examples of coping skills
Two common types of coping skills are grounding & distraction techniques.
Grounding exercises are meant to calm you down & help you to better manage difficult emotions.
Distraction techniques help your brain & thoughts focus their attention on something else.
If you are looking for more in-depth examples of specific skills you can learn about and practice, I encourage you to read my other articles.
7. Increases self-esteem
As discussed before, therapy can help you deepen your understanding of yourself. This can increase self-awareness and also help increase self-esteem and confidence.
Self-esteem
Self-esteem has to do with the way you view yourself. It can be positive or negative or somewhere that fluctuates in-between both options.
It impacts how you see yourself, what you believe others think about you, and how you view your capabilities or weaknesses in any given situation.
If you have low self-esteem you might feel very insecure, doubt your relationships and project this dislike of yourself onto your interactions with others.
If you have high self esteem you might view yourself as fully capable and deserving and make choices and take risks accordingly.
Your self esteem directly impacts how you interact with this world and others in it. It shapes how you show up in your relationships and conversations and how you treat yourself, both externally and internally.
It impacts how you allow others to treat you and what you are willing to put up with.
It can give you the ability to set boundaries and know your worth. But having low or no self-esteem might make it very difficult to know your value and what you deserve.
I hope you are left with a better understanding of why therapy might be a helpful option for you to explore. I know everyone is different and everyone’s experience with therapy will reflect their uniqueness.
At the very least, I hope this article helps reduce the stigma and shame around seeking professional help and maybe leaves you a little more open-minded about going yourself or the people in your life who go to therapy.
These 7 benefits of going to therapy can apply to anyone. I encourage you to reflect on whether you could benefit in any of these areas.
If you are feeling motivated and ready to seek treatment after reading this article, head over to my ‘Find Support’ page to begin exploring your options!
